So, raise demense limits, settle in one place which you will call homelands and throw away everyone from those.
Scotland have one of strongest retunies for now, but its 17 counties, and its nearly impossible to hold all of its counties in one hand through generations. I like Denmark 12 counties, vikings and Ireland 13 counties, funny names for GB. Its natural for them to climb higher With good Stewardship and waifu you can hold small kingdom under yourself, making total control on it, like making elective monarchy where you're only elector. You just prevent bad guys from affecting your game, like some powerful vassal who lands in your homeland and want it. Its not just about greed or cute mapping, or other things. Not under your family, but under current ruler.
If you own a duchy, try to keep all counties in duchy under yourself. Like, if you own Denmark, conquered Ireland and got "demense is too big", give away lands in Denmark OR Ireland, not few counties here and few counties there. Just one thing: try to keep all of homelands in your own hands, give away outter lands. Not only do you get all the penalties mentionned in the tool-tip it is also bad for your ruler's health, he's much more likely to become stressed for example. If your demense is too big it means you are directly controlling too many holdings castles, cities, temples and this results in bad things happening. What do I do specifically? Also worth mentioning that I'm a noob at this game, so I don't know every menu of the interface of the game. I tried bribing them, but my vassals' opinion aren't improving that much. Home Discussions Workshop Market Broadcasts.
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